
What makes a relationship spiritual, we might guess, is that in it we
are relating to something spiritual, something divine, godly, or
other-worldly. I want to suggest, rather, that in it we are relating
to something spiritually. It is a matter of how we relate, rather
than of what we relate to. It is a matter of attitude.
This attitude allows us to relate as an ally in the exploration of life. How
do we become allies with those we relate to? By coming to the other with the
awareness that we are fellow travellers, fellow experiencers of the onflowing
show, and by treating ourselves and the other as centres of life: with
caring and open curiosity and wonderment. An ally is there sharing and
exchanging feelings, observations, reactions, experiences in general. This
caring curiosity, which leads to sharing, leaves behind the demanding
curiosity of an opponent looking for ways to attack and criticise. The ally lives out the "spiritual" attitude: this attitude is a loving one, one which leads to confident trust and openness.
This attitude makes for an evolution, a growth, an expansion -- one which is
possible in the context of a relationship with another person: in fact, not
only in this context but growing out of this context itself. This
context is love.
Love is deep heart-felt friendship-in-action. Love is not a passively
felt sensation, like a twitching or an ache, but an attitude. And it is
an attitude in practice: it is an attitude which is carried into action,
an attitude with ongoing manifestations. It is not merely an attitude
simply held as a doctrine or credo.
Love is flexibility, allowing ourselves to be open to and responsive to
the needs and yearnings of the beloved. Love is not stubborn, not rigid,
not prideful. It is miraculous: the more we give love, the more love we
have. For in giving love, as in making (creating) love, we experience
love, and the more we experience love, the better we know it, and the more
its vitality glows through all our body. Loving the beloved, giving our
love to the beloved, acting for the beloved, rejuvinates the lover as much
as it satisfies the beloved. It enrichens both. It is what makes us rich
human beings. And its absence? Well, what is a person who feels no
love in the heart? A poor, sombre, joyless presence, wouldn't you say?

The Far Shore: Vipassana, The Practice of Insight, p. 53.
C 1980,1996,2001,2009 by Mitchell Ginsberg. Excerpted with permission of the author. In quoting please acknowledge source. Please come back soon and visit my Home Page and Selections page, as I will updating and adding to them as time permits.
Please come back soon and visit my Home Page and Selections page, as I will updating and adding to them as time permits.
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